Religious Monologue

I woke up this morning drowning in my own thoughts, thinking when will this world end? How has it even lasted this long? I've heard since I was a child that the world is soon coming to an end, the older I get I actually started to wait for it. They said...no man knows the day nor the hour when God will return. They even said he'll come like a thief in the night when no one expects it. I use to actually sit up and attempt to think about it all day like, "when was god coming back?" They said he won't come when you're waiting for him, so I thought if I wait and be watchful of him, maybe he'll never come back. But today, with all the sexism, racism and all the other -isms I actually don't think about God that much anymore. Sometimes I want him to come back...the world is all but dead anyway...right?

The wars that countries fight in his name, the individuals who die in his name, what is it all about? I often wonder how does god love us when he created all of these sins to fall by the wayside to? Some one will say that god didn't create our faults we did, we ate the apple, but did god not put it there, did he not know the ramifications before he put them in place? If he's all knowing, did he not know that we would fail his test? And if so, was this some kind of big fuck you from the beginning? Shouldn't he have known that man would take his message of religion and salvation and use it for a scam, to conform people, to lead people to their own damnation? So many people follow and believe in their gods, the same gods they created a safe space for to teach their hate and bigotry. Did god not know we would use his word for a separation tool, did he not know we would find reason to justify our hate from the book of life? Did he not know his "good" would be used for evil. So whose really to blame...

If you created the world, would you put so many things that we can't or shouldn't touch in it? Why would he (god) make life so damn hard to the point that suicide becomes an option for some and then make that option punishable by hell fire and brimstone? Why would he give us the tools and the mindset to create drugs so powerful, that by just taking them one time, you could be hooked and your life then becomes a distant memory? When I think of religion, I think of the many ways that people give up the rights to their own thoughts, their individuality, the essence of who they are. People began to think methodically and not randomly off emotion and or the ability to critically think for themselves, so they think the way others or their god tells them to think. If religion makes you adopt radically different beliefs by using a systematic approach and forcible pressure, if it focuses more on the children than adults because they are our future and not the adults, is this not brainwashing at it's best?

Why is it so important to so many ethnicities that God and or Jesus look so much like them?  Rami Malek (Elliot Anderson) of Mr. Robot said it best, "If I don't listen to my imaginary friend, why the fuck would I listen to yours?!"