30 Something

After 30 we all start searching for something more. Maybe it starts in your 20's; around 25, 26.. but that feeling of finding your place in the world kicks in. You start to ask the universe questions like, "Where are my real friends? Why am I not in my career field? Why am I not married yet?" Oftentimes we even get in the most peculiar places and start to blame everyone around us for why we haven't succeeded. Some of us become envious of those who are succeeding and seemingly in happy, loving relationships. We start to think, "I wish that was me." Without knowing how hard it is to make that relationship work or how difficult it maybe for others to maintain those high ranking position in their careers. 

I once heard someone say that, "Looking at someone else's life and pretending or wishing it was yours, is like a fly on the outside of the window trying to get inside (thinking it's better), not knowing that once you get inside there is something or someone trying to kill you and all you want to do is get out." That might not be exactly how it was said (smiles) but that's what I took from the saying. 

Some of us go through so many stages of change to make things happen in our lives in an attempt to make ourselves happier. Some travel the world; from California to New York, Canada to London in search of true happiness. Some will totally change who they are; losing enough weight to physically look different, changing hair colors, buying new wardrobes and even relocating all together. Then after all of that, realize none of those things worked. They're still unhappy with themselves. That's the key, "we" are not happy with "ourselves". Sometimes we have to change what's on the inside and not our circumstances on the outside. 

Yes, this sounds simple but so many people are struggling with this daily. I read others post on Facebook and other social media platforms where people are literally crying out for change and empathy. They want someone to listen, give them answers or just notice their struggle. It's a collective group of individuals longing for change, for something different. I recognize it because I too used to be that someone. I never posted things on social media but I battled with them by myself. I've heard coworkers, friends and family members speak negatively about those who post their emotions on social media, wearing their feelings on their sleeves. The funny thing, is those very people who spoke out against such emotional postings, were going through something in their own lives. 

Some of us go about change in different ways trying to find a remedy for our unhappiness. We read books, join Meet Ups, run marathons and volunteer to feel some sense of self worth and accomplishment. Others choose partners who they know are wrong for them, partners who want them to be someone else. This whole world is seemingly built off conforming to one thing or another. Jobs don't allow you to dress or be who you are (corporate America), boyfriends/girlfriends want you to be their dream someone or an ex that they never got over. But when will you start to love yourself for exactly who you are? When will you love the extra pounds that you have, be healthy of course but know that you're different and love yourself. When will you realize that making less money doesn't mean you're any less of a person making more? When will you realize that your delay is not your denial?

Sometimes searching is not the key, wandering is not the answer but standing still, not moving forward or backwards and knowing that where you are and who you are is exactly where you're suppose to be!

Have you learned the art of standing still? Have you come to grips with who you truly are?