Making Sense Of It All
Place: A corner cafe.
Scene: A patio. A presidency's campaign is nearing an end. The two of them are soaking up the Sunday afternoon festivities.
I like songs about God being a woman,
gold grills, afros, babies made from bodies bent awkwardly,
all the things that make classic music. It's not enough
to pave new lanes into old ones, is it?
Why are you so unsure about something so true to you?
I'm just trying to make sense of things that consistently
draw blanks in my head, like how I want a woman created
from the clay and ashes of Jill Scott and Baduism; a woman
with a presence so strong I second guess walking out the
door after a knock down drag out spar of words. Because
when with just a woman with two breast, a vagina, no backbone
or soul, even when I'm wrong I'm right, because i need reason
to not be present in that relationship.
Is it you or her? I mean does she give you reason to stay?
Does she speak peace into your mental storm?
Does her presence upon arrival send butterflies crashing
into your ribcage? Does your body call out to her from a distance?
Do you even still anticipate the satisfaction upon entry
of her private islands, do you?
I've never thought about it in such a way.
Have you ever felt that for someone?
Don't change the subject. Why don't you be honest with yourself?!
Discover the answers that you're looking for and don't believe those
people who say that you're young and you have all the time in the world
for love! In reality you have one chance at it and if God deems you worthy
maybe a second, but even he breaks his promises doesn't he?
I'm afraid that I could never promise someone a lifetime of monogamy,
I'm not built for those things pleasing to God's eyes or my mothers ears.
I can tell you like to be different, but you're not. You're not the only one
with thoughts that made it outside the box, but now that they are out, how will
they survive without societies perspective nourishing its intent?
Like a 12 step program, one day at a time.